Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Friday 23 January 2015

"...+2 to TV shows"

Started watching Gotham today. Three episodes in & I'm hooked! Also can't wait for the second season of Young & Hungry to air.
Oh well, +2 to TV shows.

ツ | 5:15 am

Wednesday 21 January 2015

"Change your perspective..."

The world, as it is today, is a testament to how fucked up humans - as a race - are. How we behave, our thoughts that transmute into actions, and our outlook on life either directly or indirectly affects mankind. Now, I'm not about to preach and divulge my non-existent knowledge on human psychology, but I feel the need to rant on this issue because I am beyond pissed at something that correlates to this particular subject.

Let me start by saying this - if you have a fixed opinion or impression of someone, anything that person does will not waver how you feel towards him/her, because it has been engraved in your mind that you view him/her a certain way - even though it may not be the case at all/anymore. Only in rare instances (odds are close to impossible) do people change how they regard someone. And I am speaking realistically, because there will always be a distinct but conspicuous lingering feeling of disapproval coming from your sub-consciousness.

Fact: It takes years to build a good standing with someone, and just mere seconds to destroy it
Another Fact: Everybody makes mistake

This is where the level of severeness comes into play. How grave is this 'mistake'? Did it cost the life of another person? Are you putting another individual at risk or in danger? Will space and time eventually heal all wounds? Was this mistake inevitable and/or predicated?

And the more I think about it, yes. I was told beforehand not to fall into the rabbit hole, not to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree. But apart from just being told not to "let it get to me", I was offered nothing else (no reassurance whatsoever). In fact, I was just as tempted as Alice (Alice In Wonderland) and Adam (The Bible; Adam & Eve) were.

Was it my fault? - Yes!
At this point, you're probably guessing the reason I am writing this is to validate my lack of self-restraint which led to the mistake I made (by all means, chain me to the pillory and take my life), but in reality, that is NOT the case at all. Truth of the matter is, it was bound to happen. I foresaw it. You foresaw it. We all foresaw it.

Does it make it justified? - No.
But for the love of God, it was like a rat trap waiting to go off. Here's an illustration, "Hey person, I would like to borrow your car. I am a reckless driver and I have a whole list of DUI and have had my license revoked 7 times before. Don't let that dissuade you from letting me drive your expensive Lamborghini." I mean, you already knew I would get affected by "it", and worse of all, you didn't even help to prevent it, but spurred it on.

I am an emotional person, but I have a logical core. I can reason with an issue you are having with me. I can even go as far as to banish all my beliefs to accommodate your feelings, or lack-there-of. But lately, it does seem like more of an exploitation, rather than a genuine disappointment for my (apparently) inexcusable behavior.

I'm just... vexed. Annoyed. Unloved. Neglected. Exhausted.

Change your perspective PLEASE, because promising that things wouldn't get better isn't helping (...what are you really fighting for by saying that?). I cannot physically or mentally change your mind (oh believe me, I would if I could), I can only do my best to influence it. Trust me when I say, it's the stubbornness, the sheer and utter refusal to LET IT GO... blah, why do I even bother? All you'll take away from this post are the things you disagree with and not the point I am trying to make.

Sorry for what I did
Sorry for posting this post
Sorry for being... human

ツ | 9:52 pm

Monday 19 January 2015

Warning: Explicit Content

ツ | 3:31 am

Sunday 11 January 2015

ツ | 11:25 pm

Thursday 8 January 2015

"...rough waters"

Despite having gone through rough waters, we've never stopped loving each another. This will be a month to remember...

ツ | 8:52 pm

Monday 5 January 2015

"...living amongst the carnies"

Before I met Steven, my life was plain and mediocre. I was satisfied with what I had, and contented with what I didn't. But ever since he walked into my life, I haven't gone a day without thinking of him. To say I'm captivated is a strong understatement. Sure, we've had our fair share of arguments and I did break his heart several times in a row, but I haven't stopped loving him. Not for a single damn second.

There's a quality about him that I'm deeply attracted to. I can't quite put a finger on what, but it's ~~still~~ there. To be perfectly honest with.. well, myself... I wish we never fought. Arguing with him is heart-wrenching, and I know I speak for both of us when I say that. All I ask for is his happiness, and I am doing the best to come across as someone who can accommodate his needs - as he is with mine - because it's a two-way street. Love is.

Yes, I love him, and that's all there is to it.

A few hours ago, stud and I watched Horrible Bosses 2.

I enjoyed that movie, not only because Jennifer Aniston (Rachel from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - like... my favorite sitcom ever) and Jason Bateman were in it, but because Chris Pine joined the cast as the big baddie. I've been a huge fan of Chris Pine for as long as I can remember, because aside from being a Hollywood heartthrob, he also voiced one of my favorite animated character, Jack Frost (from Rise of the Guardians). The movies he stars in are usually within my circle of interest.

The movie, in my opinion, was somewhat hilarious. I'm starting to take a liking to Jason Bateman's comedy style and approach. It's unlike any other comedians that I've grown to like over the years (Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Jim Carrey, Katherine Heigl, Kristen Wiig, Tina Fey - to name a few).

When I admire an actor/actress, I tend to "wikipedia" them, then binge-watch the films they've had a prominent role in. Needless to say, Bridesmaid and The Ugly Truth are movies I especially like.

Now, this may come as a shock to most people, but I've always wanted to join the circus and be a carny. Stud and I were bantering about this awhile ago (before he dozed off) and somehow Jen got roped into it. There is something exhilarating that inundates an open carnival, something alluring that draws me to its very presence.

Someday, if given the opportunity, I would like to be part of the circus, not as a freak though - preferably an acrobatic performer. A tiger tamer is out of the question, considering how I lack the ferocity to pacify animals. Though being around one would help fuel my fascination, and ignite my growing curiosity of what its like to be living amongst the carnies.

This life that I have... I don't ask for a lot. I want to love, live in the simplest of circumstances and have a platform to perform. At a circus doing acrobats, on stage singing my heart out, or even provocatively pole-dancing at a strip club... it matters not. As long as I get to express myself, and not be condemned on an island where creativity is stifled, confined and corked.

ツ | 6:58 am

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream