Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Friday 27 March 2015

Warning: Explicit Content

ツ | 12:10 am

Tuesday 24 March 2015

Synopsis:

A nerdy bookworm realizes his crush is making use of him academically, so he gets a makeover to become more socially attractive. He executes his revenge on him at school by behaving arrogant, aloof and spiteful, but gets sexually assaulted instead.

[Penguin Frontier] Faker's Affair
Part 1 | Part 2 *NEW*

ツ | 12:38 am

Thursday 19 March 2015

"Procrastination is futile..."

Just got done re-watching both seasons of Young Justice and the end took me by surprise... again! I had completely forgotten about Wally West's (Kid Flash's) untimely death. As soon as I saw the final scene, I was immediately reminded of the emotional distraught I felt back in 2012 when I first watched the season finale as it premiered on TV internationally. I get really emotionally invested in shows, no exception to even cartoons. I know.. silly, right?

I recall making a similar post about this back on my old blog, so I won't delve too much into it, though my hype and enthusiasm from the past are reeling back in.

Can't believe it's been three years since... well, let's just say I am glad I'm in a better place now than I was before. All the ruckus I've caused, the fear I've harbored, the insanity I had to plea... It was one hell of a bullet that I'd dodged.

If anyone knew what I did to get out of what "should have been", they would probably have deemed me a coward, scrutinize me with every fiber of their being, but no one really understands the trauma one has to face in such a detrimental position, like the one I had to rebel against to get out of being... (for lack of better word) "enslaved".

For the vast minority who knows what I'm writing about, you may think I'm exaggerating, but the fact of the matter is... it's scary. I wasn't prepared - physically or mentally. The 'build-up' was the worst, having to anticipate the day... no, the hour... where I had to sacrifice my freedom... that alone was enough to dissociate me from being who I really am to compensate for what was to come (thankfully, the disaster was averted).

...and it didn't stop there. Since then, I've been developing personality after personality to cope with the psychological strain it has left on my already-unstable psyche.

I guess what I'm trying to derive at is this - there are millions of brainwaves that I have tapped into, and my natural instinct is to seek out the ideal environment that can better condition my damaged (..or twisted) mind. Procrastination is futile, which leaves only one option - resettlement.

Though the operation is still in motion, I'll keep nurturing and harvesting my alter egos - without letting it affect my social or pseudo-social life - until, of course, I've colonize a habitat fit for my slowly-deteriorating-not-yet-broken soul.

Running out of time is what I fear most.

But, running... that's all I know of.

ツ | 8:13 am

Wednesday 11 March 2015

[x]

ツ | 11:13 am

Monday 9 March 2015

"The one thing I ask for..."

I recently started watching the first season of Undateable because of my unhealthy anticipation for Bridgit Mendler joining the main cast in season two.

Five episodes in and I'm still warming up to the comedic style of the sitcom, though I know that as soon as season two airs and Bridgit takes on her role as Candace (yup, I've seen the trailer), I'll be even more hooked. For now, the only characters carrying the show - for my quirky taste - is Justin and Brett (gay and British, I mean.. c'mon!).

I may... be over-idolizing Bridgit. I tend to do that a lot.

Lately I've been feeling a little unwell. To say I'm not myself is a critical understatement juxtaposed with a kind of rumination that warrants a reality check. Apart from the usual personality switch that I've grown so accustom to, I've been having urges that one would determine to be that of "bipolar".

One minute I'm eliciting a whorish behavior where I find myself wanting to please everyone (emotionally and, of course.. sexually), and the next, I'm questioning every irrational decision ever made. If I had a penny for every time I ask, "What was I thinking?", I would probably have enough to fund a charity organization (couldn't help to think of the less fortunate even while speaking figuratively).

This passage of life that I seem to believe I'm embarking on.. who is to say that I will forever be condemned to a life of passive destitution? Oh, that's right... Everyone who has ever crossed my path.

The one thing I ask for, from when I was a child and I started being able to develop an attachment towards people, was a constant. Given the fact that I'm posting such a whiny, meaningless post that measures the extent of my sinfully apathetic life shows that I've not only calamitously but tragically failed in that regard.

All I wanted was someone who knew me well enough, someone who was willing to share in my woes as I would in theirs. It doesn't even have to be a lover, heck! I'd settle for a pen pal.

But I fear this isn't my lowest yet. I foresee days where I'll get struck with a sickening sense of spite and self-loathing. Sometimes I feel like my mind functions the same way Maddie Ziegler dances in Sia's Chandelier music video. Yet, I still choose to embody my demons. Maybe it isn't a disorder that I have, but the devil speaking to me through a very spiritual psyche. If that were the case, where is my savior?

Or, is this just.. Amen?

Warning: Explicit Content

ツ | 9:35 am

Friday 6 March 2015

ツ | 12:19 am

Wednesday 4 March 2015

ツ | 5:54 pm

ツ | 2:19 am

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream