Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Wednesday, 21 January 2015

"Change your perspective..."

The world, as it is today, is a testament to how fucked up humans - as a race - are. How we behave, our thoughts that transmute into actions, and our outlook on life either directly or indirectly affects mankind. Now, I'm not about to preach and divulge my non-existent knowledge on human psychology, but I feel the need to rant on this issue because I am beyond pissed at something that correlates to this particular subject.

Let me start by saying this - if you have a fixed opinion or impression of someone, anything that person does will not waver how you feel towards him/her, because it has been engraved in your mind that you view him/her a certain way - even though it may not be the case at all/anymore. Only in rare instances (odds are close to impossible) do people change how they regard someone. And I am speaking realistically, because there will always be a distinct but conspicuous lingering feeling of disapproval coming from your sub-consciousness.

Fact: It takes years to build a good standing with someone, and just mere seconds to destroy it
Another Fact: Everybody makes mistake

This is where the level of severeness comes into play. How grave is this 'mistake'? Did it cost the life of another person? Are you putting another individual at risk or in danger? Will space and time eventually heal all wounds? Was this mistake inevitable and/or predicated?

And the more I think about it, yes. I was told beforehand not to fall into the rabbit hole, not to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree. But apart from just being told not to "let it get to me", I was offered nothing else (no reassurance whatsoever). In fact, I was just as tempted as Alice (Alice In Wonderland) and Adam (The Bible; Adam & Eve) were.

Was it my fault? - Yes!
At this point, you're probably guessing the reason I am writing this is to validate my lack of self-restraint which led to the mistake I made (by all means, chain me to the pillory and take my life), but in reality, that is NOT the case at all. Truth of the matter is, it was bound to happen. I foresaw it. You foresaw it. We all foresaw it.

Does it make it justified? - No.
But for the love of God, it was like a rat trap waiting to go off. Here's an illustration, "Hey person, I would like to borrow your car. I am a reckless driver and I have a whole list of DUI and have had my license revoked 7 times before. Don't let that dissuade you from letting me drive your expensive Lamborghini." I mean, you already knew I would get affected by "it", and worse of all, you didn't even help to prevent it, but spurred it on.

I am an emotional person, but I have a logical core. I can reason with an issue you are having with me. I can even go as far as to banish all my beliefs to accommodate your feelings, or lack-there-of. But lately, it does seem like more of an exploitation, rather than a genuine disappointment for my (apparently) inexcusable behavior.

I'm just... vexed. Annoyed. Unloved. Neglected. Exhausted.

Change your perspective PLEASE, because promising that things wouldn't get better isn't helping (...what are you really fighting for by saying that?). I cannot physically or mentally change your mind (oh believe me, I would if I could), I can only do my best to influence it. Trust me when I say, it's the stubbornness, the sheer and utter refusal to LET IT GO... blah, why do I even bother? All you'll take away from this post are the things you disagree with and not the point I am trying to make.

Sorry for what I did
Sorry for posting this post
Sorry for being... human

ツ | 9:52 pm

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream