Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Monday, 2 February 2015

"...I'll be okay, just not today"

There are several promises I have to keep even though this relationship is over. Tears and self-deprecation aside, I have to get over this break up the proper way. I won't rely on any alter egos to diffuse the heaviness in my heart, because that's just an easy way out, and falling out of love should serve as a reminder that avoiding my problems isn't going to get me anywhere.

I know I'll be okay, just not today. I guess the reason why I never dared to confront my past relationships is because part of me (deep down) wants to preserve this 'magical' aspect of falling or being in love. I want love to be full of wonder and feel a constant stream of sensation where my smile never has to waver, simply because I get to spend the rest of my life with someone I love who loves me back.

That, and also taking good care of him by being the perfect boyfriend. But now that it has all turned to shit, that 'idea of love' couldn't be more further out of reach.

I've been called 'naive', 'simple-minded', a 'dreamer' and even 'childish' to believe that such a love exists in this world, but if I don't have my beliefs, then I have nothing... nothing at all. My mind would then paint a bleak world where everything is dull and mundane. I refuse to lead my life in such an obscure manner.

Well, it's back to bed to wallow for a few more days before I get back on my feet to face the world. For now, I need more sleep.

ツ | 7:14 pm

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream