Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Friday, 17 April 2015

"...1800-CURE-MY-HEARTBREAK"

Feelings are a conspicuous thing that takes over my vessel unlike any of my known alter egos. They overwhelm me with a hazy sensation, one that I cannot easily discern until I've fallen head over heels for an individual (..or two, in this case). Something I have absolutely no control over is scary, especially when I lose myself to the despotism of what can essentially blossom into "love".

You see, I was never groomed or conditioned to be shallow. I was raised to see the good in people, how rich the quality of a person is. I define their character, not judge them. This makes me more prone and susceptible to the tragic disease we call 'heartbreak'.

Right now, my heart is all over the place. It belongs to everyone, yet no one. It yearns for affection, but once granted the desired affection, its cravings will develop into addiction. That's where the possessiveness kicks in and before I know it, I'm questioning every life decision I've ever made. It's a vicious cycle, I tell you.

So... Cut to the chase

I currently have strong feelings towards two people that I've met on IMVU (the reason why I don't date people in real life is a whole other story for another day). I cannot act on my feelings for either of them because I know how the story will unfold.

After a few relationships that have turned sour (...and I mean way sour), it becomes all too familiar. It starts out with "The Chase", followed by "The Honeymoon Phase", then "The 'Want' To Recapture What We Once Had", and finally... "The Drift".

Soon I'll be reaching for the phone and dialing 1800-CURE-MY-HEARTBREAK.

It's probably for the best that we all remain platonic friends, and for my role to be the guy who fulfills everyone's sexual needs (as well as his own). Pursuing this (or anything, for that matter) a step further is a risk I can't afford to take.

I'm just.. too afraid to love anymore.

I've failed one too many times.

I can see the end as it begins.

Bleak as it may be,

I have to live another day,

without love getting in the way.

Sigh

ツ | 9:26 am

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream