Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Thursday, 2 April 2015

"...closer & closer..."

As degrading as it may be, I try to stray off the topic on what I do for a living as much as possible. It is - after all - a profession I consciously chose to be a part of. Though, I'm beginning to feel the drawback and it ain't as liberating as how I'd imagine it would be, that much I'll say.

At work today, I had another episode. It completely slipped my mind to pop some Sertraline into my system and I had what a by-stander would consider.. a "mental meltdown". I had to excuse myself and take a hot minute to compose and recollect my deranged self out in the curb. I knew I was acting out because I recall mumbling to no one in particular, spouting utter nonsense (could have sworn I was speaking in tongue at one point, lol), basically trying to grasp the entirety of whatever the hell was going on.

The one thing I detest the most is the memory lapse[?] gap[?]. It really isn't the least bit fun to lose my rhythm just when I was getting into it. Despite what my close friends might say, I do enjoy my job, but it requires me to stay shackled to one state of mind. I cannot - under any circumstances - have a takeover, however mild it may be, doing what I'm doing.

The upside is that I have Jerome, by far the most suitable candidate for such a shady business. The downside?

An unexpected relapse like today

But I'm not quite done yet. A little mind malfunction isn't enough to deter me from what I'm working my ass off (...literally) for. I'm still fired up and until I've saved up enough money to help "him" get by, I won't subject myself to any antagonizing judgment. The feeling is like no other, and I say this non-figuratively - it's like lightning coursing through the veins in my body. I finally get the expression.

With each passing weekend, I get closer & closer to the endgame.

And when all is said and done, I can finally... let go.

ツ | 12:35 am

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream