Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Friday, 3 April 2015

"I need pizza..."

Ever have days where you're overwhelmed by everything?

Today (and probably the following few days to come) is one of those quieter days where I'll probably revert back to my old "reclusive turtle" self. I deserve some silence after such hectic few months... maybe treat myself to my favorite bar of candy whilst taking a slow walk in the park. I might even go for a swim because I usually feel refreshed after a few laps in the pool.

I really ~~have to~~ need to drown out the noise, the clamor that has overloaded my restful mind and clouded my once-lucid thoughts.

There is a fuse inside my body that has been lit after the countless of failed relationships that I've endured (that is not to say that I'm not responsible for any/all of them... because I am). Some time off from reality is in order, a necessary break to recompose myself - find out just what I am to do with all that has happened thus far.

Things/Thoughts lingering in my head that I need to exile:

Seeking my parents approval for being gay [...and not being invited to holiday gatherings (i.e. Thanksgiving, Christmas) because of my sexual orientation]
Reproaching myself constantly for what I do for a living
Blaming myself for not being good enough for Steven, Scott and Rob
Feeling ostracized/judged
The need to be sexually objectified to validate my appeal/worth (shallow, I know..)
Making "being in a relationship" and/or "finding my significant other" the sole purpose of my life
Fearing the worst for a certain someone that I've grown quite fond of
Cravings for pizza

I need pizza... I need pizza and a really good movie.

ツ | 5:01 pm

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream