Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Wednesday, 15 July 2015

"...I'm Sorry"

I'm getting married in a month. I'm excited yet extremely remorseful. Truth is, I've made one too many mistakes and as far as apologies go, there's only so many times a person can say sorry before it loses its sincerity. So here's a list of the wrongdoings that I've committed and my deepest regret for each and every one of them. This is NOT a post asking for forgiveness, but a declaration of my errors and hopefully to help people I've hurt get some sort of closure (boy am I gonna get so much shit for this, but I put the feelings of others above mine, so this has to be done).

When it comes to matters of the heart...

John (alias: PrinceJohnSexyVamp)... I'm sorry for leading you on. I did have feelings for you and I had every intention of moving in with you and building something with you. What I liked about you was your generous nature. You give and gift, and never expect anything in return. You are, by far, the most selfless person on imvu. And I wanted to show you the kind of love that you deserve by treating you like a king in real life. I wanted to be the reward for all that you've helped done for your friends.

Gabe (alias: AngelWolfAaltone)... you're a hopeless romantic and someday you'll find your prince and when he comes riding into your life on a white horse, it'll be the best fucking feeling ever. But until then, you have to keep the spark alive. I'm sorry but I'm not your knight in shining armor. You dodged a bullet with me because I'm complete and utter trash. I'm the piece of gum that people spit out after hours of chewing and it gets stuck onto the sole of your shoe.

Liam (alias: LiamTaylorWilliams)... I was a true jerk to you and under different circumstances, we would have been really great friends. I'm the type of person who "wants his cake and eat it too", hence the affair. I'm not going to undermine what I did because you do deserve an apology and I'll a risk a humiliation to show just how much of a nice person you are. I'm sorry. On the upside, you dodged a bullet with me. I'm worthless, a nobody and I'll spend the rest of my life in regret, knowing that I let a good person like you down. Don't worry, I've added you to my mental checklist of people who I'll think about when I'm old and grey as I look back on my younger years realizing how many people I've let down. You are one of them.

When it comes to friendship...

Tyra (alias: xRyouokoDrakojanx)...When we briefly dated despite Lou warning me not to date within the circle of friends, I enjoyed talking to you. You have this.. 'zest' in the way you talk that cracks me the fuck up. Please know (and I'm not just saying this to boost your ego) that there are a lot of qualities about you that I see beyond just what's on the surface. Your personality can be described in four letters - G.O.L.D.

Patrick (alias: DJCasssidy)... Man, you're the one person I really, really betrayed and I feel bloody awful for it. Out of everyone, I think I will never be able to forgive myself for what I did to you, much less expect any forgiveness from you. I will say this though - I am truly sorry. You never did anything to me and I lied and backstabbed you in a way that can only be scrutinized as "heartless" and "inhumane". Know that you'll never hear from me again (...after this, if you even bother reading it) because there's no way I can bring myself to face you after what I did. You're on the same checklist of people I'll look back someday and regret not being a better friend to. You are also one of them.

Ben (alias: Bengei)... Where do I even start? First off, I'm sorry. The word to describe what I did to you is 7 letters that Hayd3z (my ex boyfriend) himself labeled me as - SELFISH. I don't know what love is, so this marriage I'm about to embark on is a ticking time bomb that's just begging to blow up in my face. So there's my karma, knowing that in this lifetime, I am incapable of finding love because I don't know the meaning of those 4 letters. I will never achieve happiness because what you and I had proves that I know so little about reality that it is pathetic of me to even be getting married this early in life. I know I am setting myself up for failure but I choose this path as punishment for making you feel like a fool. Not to trivialize what I did.. but despite everything that happened, there was a point in time I really did loved you, even though my actions showed otherwise. I've shut that gate now, but believe it or not, you're also on the checklist of people I'll look back someday in the long and painful years ahead, and regret not being... a good friend to.

Lou (alias: LouVui)... ♥

Famous Last Words

I, Zacsky, am a whore

I, Zacsky, am selfish

I, Zacsky, am a typical gay guy who is cock-hungry and values sex and dick over anything else meaningful (like friendship, love and... family)

I, Zacsky, will never find happiness

I, Zacsky, do not deserve to love or to be loved

...and being a firm believer in karma, I'll get what's coming for me and take it like the worthless, unoriginal, evil person I am. Do NOT feel sympathy for me. That is not the intended reaction. Read this, pin me with an impression and close this blog knowing that my future looks bleak.

ツ | 5:43 am

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream