Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Thursday, 16 July 2015

"...Taking Back My Life"

Have you ever listened to a song for the first time and get an unexpected shiver because you know that that is the very anthem you'll be marching to for the rest of the week, possibly month?

I've been listening to a whole bunch of songs to pick out for my wedding. It doesn't help that most of the songs I listen to are either pop, electronic, EDM or rave. But... there's one that sends chills down my spine every time it comes on. Rachel Platten's Fight Song.

I wouldn't consider it a song fit for a wedding ceremony, and I'm really hoping Colin likes it. The lyrics don't exactly spell "I love you and I want to be with you forever" but it's so poetic and I get drenched in a downpour of goosebumps whenever I put it on.

Sometimes I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and mouth the words, '...I'm someone's fiancé. I am someone's motherfucking fiancé.' It's unbelievable yet at the same time, I wonder if I'm one of those lucky individuals that marry young and have it all by the age of 40. Oh god, I'm gonna have a mid life crisis... I just know it.

Wanna hear something ironic?

Marriage is usually something grown ups who have a stable and prospective life endeavor in, and I'm far from mature, let alone ready. I have to work on my vows, and chances are, I'm probably gonna gather quotes from a bunch of sentimental songs (like Ed Sheeran) to write up one hell of a tear-jerking prose.

I love Colin and for him, I'm willing to break out of my shell and become a man. He's the one guy I can actually see myself having a future with. He also happened to come back into my life at the right time, when I lost a couple of good friends for something horrible I did. What matters is that Colin was always there.

Part of me is definitely going to miss living with Mark, my "roommate" (I don't pay rent, hence the quote). Life here thus far has been really safe and comfortable, like having a brightly-colored life buoy tossed in the rough seas (rough seas being a metaphor for my messy life.. but yeah, you got that) and believe it or not, he has taught me several life lessons in his own sassy, diva, passionate way.

I kinda don't wanna leave but every bird has to leave the nest eventually. In some ways, I consider this place my home. I'm not sure what kind of impression he has of me (or what kind of impression I've left of myself) but I hope somewhere down the road in my life, I'll get to see him again.

This is it..

I'm finally taking back my life.

ツ | 11:40 pm

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream