Jʋsʈ ɑ Ɓoƴ

Monday, 18 January 2016

"Radio Silence"

Over the past couple of months, I've been maintaining radio silence, and I intend to walk in the shadows for the weeks to come. As the days draw closer to the anniversary of his passing, I indulged my alter egos in the ruling of my psyche, hence the more recent extraterrestrials (or those that stems from Greek orthodox origins) posts, namely "KX47110268Ω" and "Nobody in this world can be trusted...".

Stress is prevalent in my nightly flashbacks of when I was with him. He wasn't an ex-lover of mine or anything, he was simply a friend. A really good friend. My mind still goes back to the days where we were young and reckless. Funny how in a matter of years, a person can find him/herself in a completely different environment with nothing but a memory to shamelessly wallow in.

Therapy only works to suppress the pain, not abolish it, and I'm tired of being studied and judged for how I felt in the counselling room.

And what hurts the most is that I've gone way past the grieving phase, and truth be told, I just want to get past the feeling of loss, but I. Can't. Fucking. Let. Go.

Until I can find a way to put the past behind me, I'll have to resume life on a false-front mode.

"I will live the greatest story ever told..."

Yeah right... How fun can it be without... you...

ツ | 2:44 am

Friday, 1 January 2016

"Nobody in this world can be trusted..."

Couple of nights ago, I confronted Morpheus. It was a summon (well... more of an indirect plea from Morrighan, childhood 'friend' - she and I go way back). We exchanged stories that we've both encountered on the physical plane (me) and the metaphysical plane (him).

When all is revealed and there is little-to-none left to indulge, he offered me an exit clause, one with conditions annexed to it. Though tempting, I was (...and still am) a little hesitant to accept his offer. For the rest of the week, before the new year was ushered into our frugal lives, I was dwelling over this. Needless to say, I have yet to come up with response, one that I was sure of anyhow.

Furthermore, it's not like time is on my side. Believe me, Chronus has far too many shortcomings and dilemmas to govern than to immunize me from this cruel fate we call the "hands of time".

The offer that was granted is that I'll get to go through a temporal shift in the space-time stream, forcing the past 6 months (give and take) of my life to be rendered nonexistent. Ethereal work is at play here, but for the greater good. Given my track record for behaving impulsively and oh so recklessly, taking up this offer would be tactful but I might be inadvertently coerced into an undisclosed pact involving divine intervention (such that I might lose my soul without realizing what exactly I'm signing up for).

Nobody in this world can be trusted...

Not even the Gods...

And for someone like me to think that my life could take a serendipitous turn for the better... That would be naive. Extremely naive. I know I'll need to consult with Coeus, what I do not know is how to get to him.

ツ | 11:57 pm

'ℬℴʋʈ ℳℯ

My name is Zachary (

)
Born on Christmas of '92 (

)

Gay (

) Separated (

)

I ❤ my best friends
«Jen Ross» and «Bekah»

ℳℴℴɖ

Ꮚɾ¡ʈʈℯɳ Ʈℎℴʋℊℎʈʂ

ℬʋʗҚℯʈ ℒ¡ʂʈ

☑ Find a best friend
☑ Learn to play the piano
☑ Be in a relationship
☑ See New York skyline
☑ Become a Game Sage
☑ Be part of a fraternity
☑ Play on a grand piano
☑ Lose virginity
☑ Have a pet kitten/cat
☑ Experience snow
☑ See the northern lights
❒ Ride a horse
❒ Sit cozily by a fireplace
❒ Build a snowman
❒ Dip a chocolate fondue fountain
❒ Release an album
❒ Be a farmer for a day
❒ See the HOLLYWOOD sign
❒ Join the circus
❒ Go skinny dipping
❒ Taste orkney ice cream